cross-posted on myspace.
Keisha and i are married, as of June 6, 2006. that's 6-6-06 for you slow ones. i still haven't payed off our wedding bands, but they are on layaway.
(a bit of past info) Keisha was my first and only girlfriend excluding little online relationships i've had, because none of them ammounted to anything to me or anyone. Keisha drove from South Carolina just to be with me, even if it meant that she might have to live in her car (i was living with dad at the time) but dad let her stay with me. but dad got bitter, and said that either she leaves, or i leave. (i'd been expecting him to kick me out fior a long time), but to wait until i'd finally gotten a job and a girlfriend....to wait until my life was finally coming together, that was quite an insult. he expected me to tell her to leave. i said, "well then...goodbye, dad." and guess what...he proceeded to try to get me to stay, after kicking me out, but little did he know Keisha and i had been looking for a place to live for a while already. we found this one, and i used the money my mom had saved up for my college to buy this trailer. if that doesn't give a good idea of how much we love eachother...a girl willing to live in her car just to be with a guy, and the guy willing to leave his home and use what he had saved to buy a place for him and the girl to stay....then i don't know what would prove it.
on a different subject, we went to see the Unholy Alliance tour in Cincinnati a day ago. (which, ironically, started on 6-6-06) Slayer, Lamb of God, Mastadon, Children of Bodom, and Thine Eyes Bleed were there. it was awesome to see in the arena seating, and i screamed along to half the Lamb of God and slayer songs. then yesterday i went bowling with some old friends because antoni is getting married soon, it was sort of a bachelor party, but not a traditional one, just a bunch of frineds getting together. it's nice to get out some now and then, and i've been trying to open up a bit more to being around people and doing things on my days off.
i'm getting really into black Metal lately. maybe it's just sort of a phase, but it's the only style of music that still draws me in. i recently ordered Satyricon's "Now Diabolical" and it is a must-have for any black metal fan. it's sort of a deviation from typical black metal, as it's more focused on harmonies and songwriting than just heavy riffing and pounding drums, but it's exactly the kind of music i like lately. also got Marduk's Plague Angel (pretty heavy and up-beat, no annoying orchestration, but the songs are kinda hard to tell apart) and Immortal's "Sons of Northern Darkness" (pretty cliche' black metal album, but because of that it's also really good. good mix of melodic music and heavy drumming, this cd might as well be the standard by which modern black metal is based)
Keisha is planning of getting two more tattoos, one on each side of her upper back. she wants something to compliment the positioning of her crescent moon (mark of Lilith) so she's considering a Sigil of Baphomet and a chaos star. all this has been making me think about what i'd want to get if i got a tattoo, and one thing caught my eye in her study of designs...the Sigil of Lucifer. i've been thinking, the story that made me think about my old mormon ways was one the mormons themselves told when i was 18. it's basically as follows...
before the creation of earth, god told all the angels (in other words, every being ever) of the plan he had to send Christ down to save the people and show them the way to live. Lucifer, the lead angel and god's most devout follower, caught the flaw in logic, and wondered why the people were given the choice of whether or not to follow god if the non-followers would be sent to hell. Lucifer didn't want anyone to be damned, he felt that everyone was worthy of being in god's presence, and therefore challenged the idea, asking if, instead, he could simply make the people follow rather than giving them the choice, that way no one would be damned. god however wanted people to have the choice to be damned, even though he wasn't going to give them proof of his existance, so Lucifer gathered those who believed as he did and started a war against god and his followers. Lucifer's side only had a third of the angels on its side, and obviously lost. all except for lucifer were sent into "Outer Darkness"...a place void of god's presence and of anything at all, where those who follower Lucifer (and had minds of their own and logic) were to wander eternally. Lucifer, of course, was renamed as Satan and sent to rule Hell. all the angels on god's side were to everntually be sent to earth for their "trials." life, in other words.
now, what really made me think, is that freedom of choice can bring pain and confusion at times. god wanted us to be able to choose...but he didn't want to actually show us the truth? he didn't want to clue us in as to what we were supposed to believe? and if only one choice leads to heaven and the others damn us, then the freedom of choice would only be an illusion. so i know...that if there were a god, i would be in outer darkness at this very moment, because i would have stood by Lucifer 'till the end. that is my personal proof of my beliefs, and Lucifer's symbol could be my constant reminder of that.
i've also considered getting Griever, the Symbol worn by Squall in Final Fasntasy 8, because his attitude in the game is almost dead-on how i used to act around people.
anyway, i've said way too much. but it only makes up for how long i've been quiet.
Nibiru!
